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Pushed to the Limit: Setting Energetic Boundaries

Burnout, as it’s aptly named, directly results from overextending yourself in one or many ways. Many of us overextend ourselves because we have not mastered boundary setting and enforcement. While the concept of physical boundaries and their importance is widely known, we often do not talk about setting energetic boundaries.

An energetic boundary is a set of limits you place on the use of your energy. You can place as many or as few stipulations as you want on these boundaries. The goal is to maintain a surplus of energy. This means limiting interactions with people, places and activities that drain you of energy and maximizing interactions that fill your cup.

As a recovering people pleaser, I have struggled with establishing boundaries in the past. Underlying feelings of obligation or guilt sometimes pop up in resistance to the idea of creating these guidelines. The more resistance you feel, the more imperative it is for you to put those measures in place. If you are struggling with the concept of establishing healthy energetic boundaries, here are some tips to get started.


Take some time throughout each day to check in with how you are feeling. Are you energized or drained? Was there a clear source that caused a shift in your energy? Set reminders for yourself on your phone or a calendar and begin documenting the patterns that you see. This clarity will assist you in determining where boundaries need to be set.

Define Your Priorities

Understanding what is most important to you will make it easier to determine what is out of alignment with you and your energy. Take the time to make a list of your most important responsibilities as well as the things that bring you the most joy. Both are vital to maintaining balance. Then begin seeing how the segments of your life match up.

Pause Before Responding

When you are approached with an additional task on your plate, pause before responding. It can be easy to just assume responsibility without checking in on our energy first. Get used to saying “Can I get back to you on that?”. This will give you a moment to check in with yourself. Do you have the energy for this new task? Does this align with your priorities? Does this new task bring you joy? What is my motivation for completing this task? All of these questions will give you clearer insight into whether your answer should be “yes” or “no”.

Call In Reinforcements

In the beginning stages of establishing boundaries, it can be extremely difficult not to fall into old habits. This is where getting additional assistance helps. Begin by using technology assistance, like setting your phone to “Do Not Disturb” during certain times of the day or setting alarms and reminders to complete joyful activities. Enlist the assistance of trusted family members and friends to help enforce your boundaries with others (and yourself).

Encourage Yourself

Setting boundaries requires an elevation of our self-love, self-worth and self-care. Begin pouring into yourself through daily affirmations and listening to uplifting messaging. The stronger your sense of self becomes, the easier it will be to stand firm in your boundaries.

Recovering from burnout and learning to conserve your energy requires you to establish healthy boundaries for yourself. If you need additional assistance in making this shift, let me help you get clear on your next steps. When you begin operating in a way that fills your energetic cup, you will be able to show up for yourself and others in a beautiful way.

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