It's about that time of year when people look ahead to a new beginning - either with excitement or dread - with the arrival of a new year. It's a time when many people think about their goals and expectations for the future. Some create vision boards, and others prep for New Year's traditions to bring them good fortune. I love the approach of the new year for all of these reasons and more. But a recent revelation has created an even greater eagerness for 2023.
This year has encompassed a wealth of changes for me. And with each change, I've realized more and more that my abilities far exceeded my goals. I realized I've been playing small for far too long, and I'm sure many of you can relate. It becomes really easy to fall into the status quo or to question our potential when we have been living a life of "shoulds" rather than a life of "wants".
Allow me to clarify with an example. On January 20th, I will officially launch my first book as a self-published author. This is an accomplishment that completely blew the expectations I held for myself out of the water. But if you looked at my life as an adolescent, you may not be surprised. As a student in elementary school, I loved reading and writing. I would write my own fiction stories often just for the fun of it. For some reason, though, I never pictured myself as an author. Even with keeping this blog for the last three years, I was blinded to that option. It wasn't until my mentor matter-of-factly told me how easy it was that I started to consider it an option!
One of the greatest poems that I've read is "Our Deepest Fear" by Marianne Williamson. In it, she states,
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
…
Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.
So, my question to you is, when did you start cutting yourself down? The reason why counselors and coaches like myself stress inner child work or returning to our child-like selves is that often this is the period of time when we lose our wonder, and along with it, all of the possibilities we can have in life. We begin to make up rules about what we "deserve" or the feasibility of our aspirations. We begin to listen to society's standards of happiness and success and measure ourselves against that.
If you have a thought or an interest or an idea, it is for a reason. Maybe it's something you alone are meant to execute or maybe it's just propelling you down the path of your purpose. Either way, stop dismissing it and let it guide you forward.
It's about time you realized how amazing you truly are and started acting like it! It's about time you began to think of all the wonderful "what if's" you could have in this life. Don't put it off. Begin expanding your vision today.
Activity: Take at least 15 minutes to daydream about the life you want to live. Leave out any logic during this exercise. What are some of the things that stand out to you? Are these things that you want yourself or that you're supposed to want? When you're done, use this dreamscape to create a vision and plan for 2023
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