Trust. What comes to your mind when you think of this word? Who comes to mind when you think of this word?
For a long time, I struggled with trust, specifically trust in myself. I believed that everyone had some higher knowledge, some deeper understanding than I did. My experience showed me that when I questioned life, I was foolish and that my innermost thoughts and desires were bizarre. Looking back, I don’t even know when my trust in myself was first broken, but I can clearly see where it thwarted my progress.
While it is important to surround ourselves with people we trust, trusting ourselves is just as critical. While this skill is rarely (if ever) taught, we can easily find many sources and circumstances that prompt and promote self-doubt. But without a healthy trust in yourself, you will constantly be pushed to and fro by the opinions of others and life’s circumstances while you struggle to get on the path of your greatest desire and highest good.
So, whether you only doubt yourself from time to time or your self-trust has been completely dismantled, how do you build that trust back up again?
Define Trust for Yourself
It’s difficult to foster something when you don’t have a clear idea of what it is. Begin this activity by thinking of someone you trust. What qualities does this person possess that make you trust them? Now, turn your reflection inward: which of these qualities do you feel you possess? If you find yourself being overcritical, ask this person (or someone else close to you) what qualities make you trustworthy. The answers will serve as a reminder of the power you hold within.
Re-Chart Your Path
For many of us, there is at least one experience that negatively affected our trust in self. Take a moment to chart out your journey thus far. Can you remember a time in your life when you trusted yourself completely? If so, when did the shift away from that trust happen for you? If you can’t recall a period where you held that confidence, begin to list the people, places or experiences that either fed or diminished your sense of self-trust. Does the truth of what you experienced then still resonate with you now?
Find Supporting Evidence
When we lack trust in ourselves, it is often because we are holding onto an overcritical view. I challenge you to begin making a list of not only the times you trusted your judgment and it worked out, but the times you didn’t trust yourself and wish that you had. This is the evidence that all you need is within you! The next time you find yourself in doubt, bring out this list.
Start Small
Many times self-doubt is fostered out of our mistakes. Keep in mind that making mistakes is simply a part of being human. To avoid getting stuck in the mire of distrust, give yourself small opportunities to show up for yourself. Over time, you can increase the level of substance and importance of the things you entrust to yourself. And if you ever fall off track, remember to give yourself grace. The proof is in the process.
Your vitality lies in embracing self-certainty. Give yourself the chance to live the life of your dreams by building that trust again. Start today!
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